January 3, 2011 at 10:22 pm Leave a comment

Nobody can prepare you for pregnancy, labour, delivery, post-partum issues or being a parent.  Obviously they all go hand in hand, and obviously we all have expectations about what each will bring.  When I first found out I was pregnant, I did a lot of reading about ‘natural’ childbirth and what it was that I wanted and didn’t want throughout labour and delivery.  I had no idea what I was in for and I thought, oh, if I just trust my body and trust myself, we can do this however we want.  And totally, we can and we did.  As I got closer to having my life completely blessed with Cade’s birth, I became way more open to other options and doing what felt right at that moment.  We didn’t have a birth plan like I thought we were going to.  Not a written one anyway.  We had some ideas of what we wanted and didn’t want, but the main thing was that I wanted to be fully present for the birth of my child, whatever that meant at that time.  Turns out that it meant getting an epidural and being in amazingly good spirits, joking around about mid-delivery-pooping, and not being able to pee for almost 24 hours following labour and delivery.

I also remember saying to anybody that wanted to listen, “I could never handle a colicy baby, I think I would have to spend time in the psychiatric ward.”  Turns out that didn’t happen either.  Cade is a little bit colicy – nothing major though, nothing compared to some of the horror stories I heard when pregnant (gotta watch out for those, too).  He gets fussy and irritable in the evenings/night time, and has a really hard time settling down to sleep for the night.  We haven’t gone to bed in this house earlier than probably 1:30am for about a month now due to this little one’s sleeping habits.  I’ve spent many-a night crying with Cade, while Kyle physically calms Cade and verbally calms me, as he is pacing the hallways trying to soothe the little man.  Sleep deprivation is unreal and once it hits me in the middle of the night it turns me into crazytown.  Being a parent is unreal.  Kyle and I were talking the other day about it – it boggles my mind that mommies are expected to go through labour and delivery, which is extremely intense in and of itself, and then have to heal from possible tearing, C-section wounds, and emotional distress, deal with hormonal wonkiness, and figure out the learning curve of caring for a newborn child – ALL while getting next to no sleep, or at least madly broken up chunks of ‘sleep’, which is shocking (maybe even traumatic!?) when you are used to getting at LEAST 8 hours a night – solid, straight-through.

Cade is 2 months old today and I cannot believe it.  This little dude is growing like a weed, except not a weed because he’s awesome and weeds aren’t.  He’s in the 50-75 percentile for his weight, and 75-90 percentile for his height and head circumference.  What can I say, we’ve got some big heads a-running in this family.  Brains rather – not heads.  Since we missed our 6 week appointment because our doctor was ill, we went for our “6 week” post-partum checkup today.  Little stinker was so good, on his bestest behaviour.  I was anxious to talk to the doctor about switching formula, as I had a sneaking suspicion that my little guy might have a bit of a lactose intolerance – runs in my family, too.  We talked about it and she recommended we try a lactose-free formula, that is, until she saw how well he is growing!  She advised that typically little ones who have an intolerance or allergy do not grow this well as they do not digest the proteins/nutrients that well.  Instead, we’re going to try and tackle his fussiness/gassiness from a different point of view.  We purchased some probiotic drops called Bio-Gaia drops.  Apparently the other anti-gas methods such as Oval and Gripe Water have not been proven to combat gas in babies, but Bio-Gaia drops have proven to help with the discomfort caused by gas, which then often causes fuss.  I’m excited for this new journey and to see if it helps Cade feel better and more content.  All appendages crossed!

I also wanted to have my doctor check my healing progress in terms of my perineal tear.  Turns out it’s not healing that great – there’s some excess tissue.  Boourns.  I knew something was up because something didn’t feel right, in fact, it felt pretty awful most of the time.  I couldn’t pee without it burning, so I had to readjust my peeing position to a “lean-forward so the pee doesn’t dribble on the tear!” stance.  Too much info?  Then stop readin’. :)  Anyway, doctor applied some silver nitrate to the tissue to sort of ‘burn it off’ and hopefully help it to heal further.  I’m reaaaaaaaally hoping it works because if I still feel crappy in 2 weeks she will refer me to a gynecologist.  And because I’m obsessed with asking Google questions, I read some very awful stories of having to get perineal surgery to re-tear the tear and re-stitch it back up again, etc etc etc.   Yucky yucky yucky.  That’s the last thing I need.  Gosh, am I getting punished for having a really amazing pregnancy?  Let’s hope not, or there’s a lot more to come ’cause that pregnancy was awwee-some.  I was feeling a little bit upset when we got home about this whole non-healing issue, especially once I stupidly Google’d it.  I shed some tears, told Kyle that I was stressed out about it and spilled out a bunch of “what ifs” to him, to which he tries to be empathetic, but also sort of kind of gives me shit for Google’ing it when he knows that is a terrible habit of mine.

I know I’ve blogged it before, but I am surprised at the amount of patience I have.  Honestly?  Before we had Cade, I would get SO annoyed with babies/children crying/whining in the stores.  It was almost embarrassing how much I couldn’t handle it.  I felt like a bad person with no motherly instinct at all, which of course is not the case.  I am so excited for what month 3 will bring.  Month 1 and 2 have both had their challenges but their awesomeness outweighs the challenges, it’s just hard to see that sometimes, especially at 2am.  Month 1 brought the first smiles, month 2 brought even MORE, BIGGER smiles as well as a tummy-to-back rollover and a ‘play-date’ with a little guy 10 days his senior, and month 3 will bring much more, which I am ecstatic for.   Just wanted to give y’all a quick update while my little guy napped.  Mommy nap while baby naps?  Nope, not in this house.  Mommy BLOGS while baby naps :)

Oh and Lily had her 2nd birthday – Happy birthday darling dearest Lily! <3 <3



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The month of 1. Other stuff about other parent things.

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