Fatherhood

March 11, 2011 at 12:41 am 2 comments

This is a guest post to “make up” for a missed post by this lovely author. I hope you enjoy it as much as hers.

 

Father.  Dad.  Poppa.  Dada.

I think there are only two real times in your entire life where you completely change.  Those two time are when you move out on your own and when you have a child.  These change you in different ways, yet very profound ways.  Moving out on your own is your first chance at complete independence.  You have freedom to explore the world.  Everything you could possibly want is within your grasp.  There is nothing left to hold you back.  Having a child is where that independence turns into responsibility for another life.  You are no longer responsible for just yourself.  You have to provide and take care of this child.  You have to ensure that they are healthy and raised properly.  You are the one whom this child will learn from.  This child will love you, hate you, admire you, despise you.  Still, in the end, they will always be yours.  You will grow up as much as they do.  You will love them and hate them.  You will see their mistakes.  You will want to fix those mistakes but let them learn from them.  You will live in their excitement and joy.  You will smile every time they smile.  You will see yourself in them.  You hope that you do a good job raising them and that they turn out to be a good, caring, loving person.  You want them to dream and to reach for the stars.  You hope that they reach them.  You will always think of them as your baby no matter how old they are.

 

I never had any inkling of how hard being a father would be, physically, emotionally, spiritually.  This has been the hardest four months of my entire life, yet, easily, the most rewarding.  To see Cade grow from as tiny as I thought he was to how big I think he is now is just remarkable.  He has changed me in so many ways.  I care less about myself and all about him.  I want everything for him.  I don’t care the sacrifice that I have to endure to ensure that my boy has all the things that he needs.  I have experienced the sleep deprivation, the schedule squeeze, the death-scream crying fits, the frustration, but every second of it all has been worth it.  To see him smile now takes away every single molecule of stress and frustration that I have ever felt.  It’s amazing what one small things like that can do to a person.  I can’t see my life without him in it.  I don’t even remember what life was like before his arrival.  Probably less hectic but not nearly as wonderful.

To know that I had a part in bringing a life into this world is simply astounding.  To know that Cade is a part of me brings me to tears.  He is the most special thing in my life.  I’m going to do my best to make sure he is the best person that he can be.

He is my boy.  I am his father, his dad, his poppa, his dada.  Always.

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

I broke the pact so please forgive. Snippets.

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. gail kolebaba  |  March 11, 2011 at 9:21 am

    awww Kyle and a great daddy your are …Cade is one lucky lil boy to have you…n my neice well lets say she couldnt of chosen a better guy!!!!!!by the way im all teary after this read ;)xo

    Reply
  • 2. Elizabeth  |  March 11, 2011 at 10:59 am

    OK, this brought tears to my eyes!! I could read this through James’ lens too, as I know he views fatherhood in the exact same light. So beautifully put Kyle!

    And to Trista, I replied to this post because it was so touching but obviously you know I think your posts are too and I have about 10 million things I want to write to you about in relation to your March posts so expect an email soon soon soon! I am loving your post-every-day thing, I’m hoping it will extend into April and beyond :)

    XOXOXO to all of you, hearing you talk about your life with Cade and how it affects you and how much you love him and want the best for him – it makes me feel so happy, like the world is a better place with your fam in it (which it is!) Oh, aren’t I just a total sap this morning?! :D

    Reply

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