Ain’t no other man.

April 18, 2011 at 4:05 pm 1 comment


For all the times I have complained about Kyle, or bickered with him about his sometimes annoying, sometimes endearing habits, and for all the times I may have so selfishly wished he possessed a certain characteristic, he is my solid ground, my very sturdy foundation, and my go-to.  And while there are times that I thought this could not have become any more pronounced, this has not been as clear to me as it has since he became a father to our son, and yet another tick on the support checklist for me.

I may have wished he was more social, more into going out, having drinks, and participating in various dance parties, but for everytime I wished that, I was grateful that he was not an alcoholic, nor a drug addict, and that he was most comfortable relaxing, chilling in whatever way seemed most fitting.  Oh, and also that on the nights where it was only me choreographing ridiculous moves with my besties, I at least knew I had a safe ride home.  A ride that would make a pit stop at McDonald’s. Beats a taxi, that’s for sure.

But you know what, I digress.  I was going to make this a contrasty post, of the things that I may have wished were different, and then the things that I am so glad are in place, but instead, I’m only going to focus on the good, because that and only that is what this is about.

We’re only nearly six months (!!!) in to this whole parenthood deal, so I maybe cannot say what I’m going to say with absolute certainty, but I’m going to anyway.  People often say that relationships change drastically when little ones enter the picture, and it is often implied that this is a bad thing, and relationships get harder and more complicated.  Maybe they do, but I can say for sure that mine hasn’t.  I believe that it has gotten stronger, that solid foundation that I mentioned earlier?  It’s gotten even stronger, more solid.  I can lean on it more and more if need be, and in turn, we can lean on each other.  Though I will shyly and perhaps shamefully say that I tend to do a lot more of the leaning.  Sleep deprivation is awful and does nasty things to good people, and we have had our share of middle of the night arguments about ridiculous, absolutely irrational moments, but in the thick of it, when all is said and done, it is he who I turn to, and it is I who he turns to, for support, for some back-up, and for a hug or a quick cuddle before we crash for a few hours, til’ the next feeding.

Seeing the man who I have fallen in love with engage in his fatherly roles is beautiful and amazing.  Soulful, even.  I cannot imagine a better father to Cade than Kyle, I cannot imagine a stronger, more powerful heart to give all that ooey-gooey love to my beautiful little boy.  To shower him with kisses, to rub his forehead and his cheeks lightly after he’s gotten himself worked up when he can sense a nap coming, to cuddle him and keep him warm – I cannot imagine anyone else being able to do that with such calmness, such perfection, and such innate nurturing and parental abilities.

He is so good to Cade and he is so good to Lily and he is so good to me.  Heck, every night we have established a routine for Cade’s wake-ups, and, I feel like I should bold this, he gets up with me.  Granted, it’s a quick wake up, feed, change the dipe, and back to bed, but he gets up with me, and he always has, from day 1.  The first hard months, he would often be the one walking the hallways with Cade, while I sat crying on my bed because I felt so helpless and I wanted to be able to soothe and comfort my little boy and he just wasn’t having it.  I get up, nurse the boy while Kyle makes a bottle, and then I give Cade the bottle, and then Kyle changes his diaper and lays him back down to sleep while I grab a quick bathroom break, and sometimes let Lily out.  It is a quick fool-proof system that helps to make the middle of the night awake times smooth and quick, but the fact that he gets up and pitches in, even while having to get up and work in the morning, speaks volumes to me.  Usually we share a laugh during these wakeups too, either at Cade’s extreme drowsiness and ability to eat while sleeping, or the fact that when Lily hears a burp come out of Cade’s mouth, she scrambles out from under the covers to establish whether or not there is spit-up for her to ingest.

I really wonder sometimes how Kyle puts up with me, though he doesn’t like when I use the term ‘put up’ with, because as he says, there’s nothing to put up with.  I am me, and he is with me for that reason, he doesn’t see it as putting up with, which is lovely in and of itself.  He is the most patient man I know, the most loving and nurturing man I know, though you might not think so upon first meeting.  A man of few words, he sometimes is, but those few words often blow my mind, the knowledge he possesses, while knowledgeable and interesting, is sometimes… silly?  I shouldn’t say that, but I just really wonder where he learns half the stuff he tells me.  Apparently it’s from being a part-time recluse when he was younger and engaging in too much TV.  Or so he says.

Kyle is brilliant.  He knows about world politics and he knows about sports and most things in between.  And when he doesn’t know, he is so very eager to learn.  I cannot wait for Cade to grow up and have parents that are excited to learn.  To grow up and have a father that he can debate with about social issues, a father he can go shopping with, and a father he can play catch with.  While not a jack of ALL trades, he is a jack of several trades, and it is those several trades that I am most proud of him for, that I am most excited to be able to share with him, and eventually, with the boy.

I truly feel blessed to have a wonderful, insightful, supportive, beautiful, nurturing, loving, kind, patient, intelligent, and eager man to share my life with, and to have created a family with.  I am so proud of my family, I am so proud of my boys, and I really should just stop here before I create a sap out of myself and in turn, all of you.  Thank you for reading and helping me to honour the man that is my world, the man that is my life.  xoxo.

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Entry filed under: Mamabear, Post-Partum Party, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

SNOOPY SUNDAY. Dads + Grandparents are not dumb.

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Trista's mom Cades grandma  |  April 18, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    That is truly spoken from the heart, such a beautiful read !

    Reply

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