Keep Calm + Carry On.

September 7, 2011 at 11:43 pm 4 comments

Well well well, another evening post wherein I have not learned that posting in the late evening is probably not my best bet.  I shall attempt this over and over again until it REALLY bites me where I don’t want to be bitten.  But for now, I will obey my post every day in September personal challenge, and just DO it.

Since I spent 9 weeks (!!!) posting incessantly about running, running, and running, I feel it somewhat necessary to make this a sort of ongoing (ish) theme of this here blog.  I haven’t talked about running in a LONG time, so here goes nothing.

Laura from Ink and Sheep (go check out her amazing crafty abilities, she wow’ed me, let her wow you too!) commented yesterday, and asked some questions that prompted this post:

“I’m curious to know if you’re still running now that you finished the 9 weeks and what your next running goals are? Or maybe it inspired you to make other changes in your life? Or maybe other things you’d like to achieve, whether they are running related or not.”

I am shocked and apalled, slightly, that I managed to let running take over my life for several weeks, in fact – I welcomed running into my life – and then I just kinda forgot about it.  On my blog, anyway.  I am happy, proud and so satisfied to announce that I am in fact still running.  And I am still giving it my all.  Ish.  It’s a weird thing, you see.  I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned it, or maybe I have and just forgot, but we got temporarily gifted a used jogging stroller that was not being used, and so since I wanted to do the program all over again and focus on speed, I thought, hmm, jogging stroller – check, C25K program again – check, I may as well combine the two, and so I have.  It feels like a completely new endeavour, in a sense.  It’s weird doing the program again – because part of me wants to slack a bit since I know that I can do it, and so it’s not AS challenging, but part of me is struggling just a tad because well, it’s harder jogging with a stroller.  I never realized how much I used my arms to gain momentum, and to help push me, but turns out I use them more than I thought I did.  It also turns out that while jogging strollers glide smoother than your regular ol’ everyday stroller, you’re still pushing weight and running while pushing that weight, and while that makes for a bit of a strength-building workout combined with running, it makes for one tired mama.  Add Lily and her leash into the mix and it’s sort of a mish-mash at times.

BUT, it’s really not that bad, and dare I say it, easier than I thought jogging with a stroller and a dog would be.  It’s probably a blessing that Lily only weighs 5lbs, but that’s beside the point…

So that is my current running goal.  To finish the C25K again, with Lily AND Cade, both my babies.  Lily still loves it, and Cade also loves chilling out in the stroller while we run throughout the streets, takin’ it all in.  We’ve been going in the morning before his morning nap, and it works out well.  It’s been incorporated into our routine easy enough and I love that I am able to take Cade with me, and that he will actually SEE me working out, running my face (+ heart + soul) off like crazy, to the best of my abilities.  When he’s older, this will be even more important, but for now it works and I am glad that it is just one more activity we are able to do together that is healthy, and that I can tell him about when he is older.

Becoming a mother and learning how to run and how to not fear running (or parenthood, for that matter) have been two of the most transformative experiences of my LIFE.  I don’t feel like I have the proper words, energy, or insight (like I said, I suck + it’s late) right now to capture this in the essence that I’d like, but they have literally made me do a 360.  Sounds so cliche maybe but I am learning that I can do things.  It’s so simple but not.  It’s so difficult but not.  I. can. do. things. Like be a little bit selfless, but not so much so that it is damaging to my family.  Like take care of myself.  That one is the clincher.  I need to take care of myself more than ever, because I want to be able to run around the yard and the park, playing chase, playing tag, running after pseudo-animals Cade has created in some crazy toddler game.  I want to model healthy behaviours, habits, and lifestyle to Cade and our future children, so that they can adopt these practices and ways of living into their life, and then pass it on to their little ones, our future grandchildren, that is if they choose to have children (please!  I can’t wait to be a grandma ;).

I have never eaten so healthy in my life.  I have never done so many ‘green’ things in my life.  I have never cared SO much about my health, ever.  Health is so holistic, and too often when we think healthy, we think eating and exercising right but it is SO much more than that.  That is a small tiny fraction of the whole deal, and while it’s important, it is not the be all end all.  Emotional connectedness rings so true with diet + exercise.  Look at the whole issue of overeating and eating disorders and stress and what have you.  Now tie that to issues with weight, be they being “too thin” or “too heavy” (yes, I know, according to what standards, that’s another issue for another day though).  Emotions and eating are one and the same for a lot of people.  How many people eat when they’re happy?  Sad?  Excited?  Proud?  Angry?  Hurt?  Anxious?  I know I’ve certainly got an issue with food and I am pinpointing it by the DAY, analyzing when I eat and how I eat.  I don’t obsess over it but I have certainly noticed patterns, and they often aren’t healthy.  I have begun to change these patterns, and I have abolished eating at night, almost completely, unless I’m really ravished and I can grab something healthy.  I am trying to stop rewarding myself with food, because this is such a temporary fix, and I have seen how damaging eating for social reasons is and can be.  I still do it though.  I still eat socially.  It’s like someone who has issues with alcohol, my issues with food are similar.  I don’t want to down play someone’s issues with alcoholism at all and that’s not what I am trying to do, but I think food addiction is real, very real, and takes some serious acknowledgement and inner healing work to combat.  Honestly, having a year off of work to stay home and learn about my son, get to know him, has helped me to get to know myself better too, because the person I am projecting to him, the person I am to him is the person that I AM, plain and simple.  Who do I want him to know as a mother?

I have had a year to get to know myself better, and to work on things that were not jiving with my life.  Taking up running was one huge step in the right direction, and it completely helped me to begin to tackle these weird eating habits of mine.  Begin to tackle, being the key words there.  It is an ongoing process for me, and I think it will be, always.  It takes much serious dedication and empowerment.  While diet + exercise are not the be all end all as I touched on before, they do go hand in hand for me.  One motivates the other, and for me, that works.  They also motivate every other aspect of health that I need to focus on too, and they all go together like a nice and neat puzzle.  It just fits together, so, so perfectly.  When I’m running, and taking care of THAT part of my body and my mind, I need to put the appropriate fuel and energy into my body, or I will crash, and crashing never got anyone good did it?

I am not perfect and I do not make perfect choices.  My choices are sometimes motivated by something that isn’t healthy or wholesome for me.  Will I go ahead and have that social drink, those few social wings, just because I want to and it’s fun to sit around and reminisce over a couple cold ones and some sticky appetizers?  You bet I will.  You can also bet I won’t do that everyday, and you can also bet that I will be putting ten times as much good stuff into my body, not to make up for that, but because it’s what I need, it’s what I crave.  Likewise, there will also be days where I sit on the couch and decide not to run, because my body and my soul and my heart are craving a break, some downtime, and I need to feed my body what it is feeding me.  It is a two-way street, and because it is giving me, allowing me, the time to reflect and to have some quiet, down-time, I feel that I need to respect that, and listen to what my body is telling me I need.

And on that note, my body is severely screaming and yelling and fighting me right now for sleep.  It has been since I opened up WordPress to type this here ditty to y’all.  I made an imperfect choice and ignored that need, and now it’s time to give in.

So tell me dear friends, dear readers, what positive and healthful changes have you made in your life recently?  What inspired them? 

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Entry filed under: C25K, Foodie Goodness, Health & Fitness, Mamabear. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

It’s fall and I need an overhaul. It’s Thursday, alright?

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jen  |  September 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    You amaze me mama! How do you find the time to blog daily???? I can hardly blog twice a month. I LOVE that you’re still running. After reading your post I’ve decided to take my son for a walk tonight when I get home! I might even attempt to squeeze a wee bit of jogging in – in your honor.

    Reply
    • 2. tristadawn  |  September 8, 2011 at 3:27 pm

      Jen, let’s just say, I don’t watch TV, or movies really, and I don’t read as much as I should, unless it’s online. Haha. Writing is so therapeutic for me. I have to make time for it. Plus I want to keep my lovely readers happy ;)

      I’m happy you’re going to take your littles for a walk! Have fun! I don’t know about there but it’s SWELTERING OUTSIDE today. We just got back from a walk and we were all incredibly hot, but happy!

      <3

      Reply
  • 3. Laura  |  September 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    Thanks for your kinds words about my blog!

    Really interesting to read all this. I’m glad you’re still running! I can’t imagine running with a stroller and a dog, that really is amazing!

    I can relate to a lot of what you’ve said here – I too feel like achieving these running goals has made me feel like I could do anything! I was always the one who hated sports at school and I remember we had to do this running test called Cooper’s test twice a year to check how fit we were and it was 12 minutes of running, which I could never complete. Now I’m just back from another 28 minute run that felt relatively easy. I feel like sending my old PE teacher a postcard. ;)

    Reply
    • 4. tristadawn  |  September 8, 2011 at 3:22 pm

      I remember the 12 minute run and how BRUTAL it was! My friend and I would put on our “this isn’t hard” game face everytime we ran by the teacher. Turns out, it WAS so hard. Turns out, I could probably kill it now ;)

      GOOD for you for doing your 28 min run! That’s incredible! Doesn’t it just boost your self-esteem ten-fold, amongst many other things?

      Reply

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