Posts tagged ‘health’

The First Year.

 

It’s not even that I have been procrastinating, I just haven’t really had time.  The start of the first year, our lives changed dramatically, and the same goes for the start of the second year.  What a whirlwind.  I got to a point tonight where I started to feel severely overwhelmed.  I can keep my shit together, for the most part.  We’re nearing the end of back to work week 3, and it is sort of sinking in that, yup, this is how it will be for the next little while.  It is hard and draining and emotionally overwhelming.  Being AT work itself is not horrible.  My office has a window and that helps exponentially.  I think about my my boy, my love, and my pooch constantly, but the work itself?  Fine.  I am not knee deep in it yet though.  Maybe ask me in a month?

The after work part is the hardest.  At about 3pm I start to feel completely tapped out and drained.  So by the time we pick up the boy from daycare (which is going swimmingly!) and then get home, unload, put away stuff from the day, I am spent.  And that’s before supper.  I’m trying to go to bed at a decent hour, and I have to, because as of 3 days ago I made a decision to start waking up at 5am so I can be at the gym for 5:30.   But I’m still absolutely drained of energy by the end of the day.  The thought of cleaning, the thought of doing dishes, the thought of any extra responsibility tires me.  I know it will take getting used to and I am really trying to be positive.  It’s just hard.  The year I had with my boy is the year I got used to, and now it has changed again.  The post-partum adjustment period was crazy.  I remember March being a rough month.  In hindsight, it was pretty bad.   I was in a bad place and didn’t bother to seek out support aside from my immediate peeps.  Not good.  So my point, is that it took me awhile.  I thought I was awesome with change but apparently it takes me a little bit.  The only thing I can think to do, is to remind myself that this is okay.  It’s okay if I need time.

The issue I am struggling with the most is that the bulk of my energy is going to work.  I don’t think this is a bad thing, obviously.  I like my work, I enjoy what I do, and I’m passionate about it.  I put in my all when I am at work, but I have made a promise to myself that I am not carrying it home with me.  I cannot do that.  It would not be fair to me, but mostly, it would not be fair to my family.  I already am struggling with the fact that at the end of the day, when I’m spent, my fuse is shortened, my patience thinner.  I am not being the best mother that I can be.   I am not being the best partner I can be.  I am probably not being the best friend I can be either.  I know what my potential is (sorta – sometimes my modesty gets in the way) and it saddens me that I am not living up to it.  I don’t think my standards are high, it is simply a matter of routine, and getting into it.  Figuring out how to jive with this new life thing.

So technically that is part of the second year and since this is supposed to be a reflection… onward!

My first year of motherhood, eh?  I don’t even really feel like I can completely capture it appropriately with words, but I’m going to give it a shot.

For starters, the moment I birthed my boy, my life was forever transformed.  And at that point, I didn’t even realize how much that statement was going to be truer than true.  From the getgo, I fell immediately in love with this most precious little being.  (We officially 100% completely bonded on all applicable levels, not immediately, not even the next day, but I remember the moment I thought oh THIS is bonding, I thought that I was bonded before but no, THIS is it.  Before?  That was survival).  My body, our bodies, created life.  This simple fact blows my mind to this very day.  It’s not even unnatural, obviously, it’s happening by the second, worldwide.  But it’s beautiful and unreal.  It is captivating.

We began to embark on a journey of sorts.  It started out rocky.  We still hit rocky patches.  But mostly, it’s smooth.  And journeys are sort of boring when they become too consistent, right?   I am grateful and overjoyed that my boy keeps me on my toes, every second of every minute of every hour of every day.  I am not even exaggerating.  He is a busy, busy little soul, and an explorer at heart.  I am so excited to watch where his soul, his explorer capabilities take him.   Every day he makes me smile, every day he makes me laugh.  What gets me through every single work day, is knowing that at the end of it, I get to run up to the door (sometimes if I’m nice I let Kyle go), open the door handle, and see the most beautiful little face, waiting for me, reaching for me.  It warms my heart.  Honestly, sometimes so much I fear the risk of overheating.

It blows my mind the amount of stuff children learn and do in the first year of their life.  That is IN-TENSE.  Smile. Laugh. Roll over. Hold things. Sit up. Crawl. Stand up. Walk (sometimes).  Play.  Learn.  Talk.  Eat.  Drink.  Develop the strongest relationship with his pup.  ;)  The other day I was asking my little angel to give his mama a kiss, and he, without breaking his look away from the passerbys in the grocery store of course, opened up his mouth, leaned in to me, and planted the sloppiest wettest most awesome kiss ever.   It fascinates me (but not really, because I already know that children are obviously so smart, they are human friggin’ beings!) that he knows how to do this, and just picked up on it like so.   And that is only one example.  Kid blows my mind.

And as for my own personal journey from being a woman, to being a woman with a child, a mother, this little boy has changed me in ways that even I will not be able to pinpoint.  All I know is, I feel in some ways like a completely different woman, but in some (a lot) of ways, exactly the same.  There are things I get now, that I had no concept of before, mostly because I didn’t feel the need to have a concept of.  There are things I am passionate about now that were over my head before.  My ability to be assertive has increased tenfold, and along with that, I have softened up by even more.  Everything is touching, everything is special and sentimental.  A friend said to me, it’s because we have given birth, and so we feel like we have given birth to everything, and I couldn’t have said it better.  I feel like I am on a path that I was not on before.  I have hopes and dreams and passions that I want to fulfill.  The concept of health means more to me than it ever did.  I really feel like I have never worked this hard to be healthy in my life, aside maybe from when I was pregnant, because I truly felt at my healthiest then.  It is one thing to put healthy, wholesome things in our body, and to regulate how we manage our muscles and our bones.  But this here mind, this here heart, this shit needs to be in tip-top shape.  I have recognized ways in which I am not being the best person I can be.  It’s not even that I have some ridiculously high standards for myself, because I really don’t think I do.  In fact, I think that I am living my life in an even simpler way than before, if that is even possible.

I have never had as little money as I do right now, but I have never felt this happy.  Or this excited about what tomorrow, or next week, or next year, might bring.  I have never felt so connected to a little being before.  I still cannot believe I am a mother and I have a son.  I have never felt this intimate with my spouse.  There’s this super intense level of intimacy, bonding, and energy field that has developed – or maybe not so much developed as expanded – between the two of us, and how we interact with one another, and with other important people in our lives.  I have never had as many ridiculous 3am sleep-deprived arguments in my life, but I have never had as much positive growth and soul-searching either.  My life, our lives, have changed exponentially.  I can’t put it into words but as you can see – if you’ve made it this far – I have tried.  I might have different ways of doing things, or varying ideas and beliefs than before (or perhaps they are simply just interpreted as so or are just being voiced now by the new assertive me ;).  But different does not have to mean bad or negative.  I am not scared of change or growth, and I don’t want you to be either.  Look where it’s got us so far?

November 23, 2011 at 9:45 pm 3 comments

A Poop-plosion.

This week has been a whirlwind. I am happy to say that it is done and we are on weekend time now, because quite frankly, weekend time is awesome time. Fun time. I went back to work on Monday and since then it has been up and down and up and down and down and down and up and down and down. Monday sucked, Tuesday was alright, Wednesday blew, and Thursday was better. Little dude is now a ONE YEAR OLD. Bizarre, just bizarre. Blows my mind outta the water. I am the mother of a toddler, a one year old… he’s still my baby, through and through. I’ve been meaning to do and still WILL do a post on the first year of the boy’s life, the first year of parenthood. Life has interrupted though and so here we are, weeks without a post, and I’m feeling lost. Is it super nerdy to say this blog here is a part of my life? I put pieces of my soul into this, you should feel special that you’re reading it. ;) So needless to say, I’m missing it.

So while the big sum-up post is not done, nor has it even been started, this post here is going to strictly be motivated by frustration. And annoyance. And some other lingering things, some parts of me, but mostly by those.

The boy has had a bout of diarrhea since Tuesday, and so we’ve been keeping an eye on him… and his diaper, of course. Tuesday brought forth many poops, one which required our daycare provider (I need to come up with a super awesome nickname for her, because that is what she is, is super awesome) to toss him in the tub and clean him up that way. Each diaper after that brought more, and more, and more poops. And each poop brought on more and more of a rashy, polka-dotted red bum. Wednesday was the same, 6 poops I think in total, which is out of the ordinary for my kiddo. And Thursday, same ole’ same ole’. In fact, Thursday morning before we took the boy to daycare, we had to bath him as well because it was seriously smeared all.over.the.place. At the end of the day Thursday when the diaper situation had not changed, we began to pay a bit more close attention to what was going on. And we still are but have not discovered much.

If you know anything about me, you know I’m not one to rush off to the doctor. Most issues that WE have dealt with have not been any that have required medical personnel intervention. Don’t get me wrong, there are obviously some that do, clearly. But the whole diarrhea in a baby thing is new to us, and while that has been the only symptom, and other than that this kiddo has been happy as pie and living the life that is normal for him, diarrhea can lead to dehydration and that makes me a tad bit fearful.

SO that led me to calling the Health Line today and explaining what has been going on. Loose, watery stools, including a couple that showed up in his diaper this morning that can only be described as… Relish. With a side of mucus. She figured that we might want to get him checked out, just to be sure there is nothing really major going on. She wasn’t concerned, and I am not really either, but thought we’d drop by a local medi-clinic. FIRST MISTAKE. I hate medi-clinics. I think I can say that as a blanket statement too. Boo, a big fat boo.

We waited, actually not very long, and then the doctor came in and saw us. Gave us high fives (? but appreciated) and played with the kiddo for a couple seconds. Asked what the issue was, I explained, and then he started looking on his iPhone at what I can only assume is some high-tech top-notch App for medical professionals. He wrote out a prescription for Mryewoiruewoighnaiwo and said “anything else?” *FACEPALM* Uumm.. don’t you want to see the poop samples that I brought for you to check out? Nope. Do I need to restrict any food or milk? Of COURSE not. His bum looks awful and is splotchy and spotted, what about that? Keep doing what you’re doing. I leerily looked at the prescription, asked what it was and what it’s for. It’s for a stomach bug, it will kill it. Anything else?

That was our visit in a nutshell but I really promise you that it was not much more than that. I immediately gave Kyle The Look. He knew. I wanted a second opinion, or at the very least, I was not going to fill this stupid prescription. An antibiotic? For some bug? Do you even know what kind of bug it is, if it even IS a bug? He seriously did not even ask anything about the frequency or consistency of the poop. Okay, I GET that it is the only symptom, and that other than that my boy is fine, but it IS out of the ordinary for this kiddo. I don’t know what I went to the clinic expecting. But what I am not comfortable with is tossing some random antibiotic into my ONE YEAR OLD and being done with it.

I feel like I need to explain myself and defend myself, and I KNOW I DON’T, but I will anyway. I think that yes, antibiotics likely are necessary. But with that being said, they are CERTAINLY not as necessary as the frequency with which they are prescribed. In fact, I feel like loading my boy up with the probiotic drops we’ve got in the fridge, to further boost the good bacteria in his body, thereby hopefully helping to fight off the bad bacteria causing the poopsplosions… if that is what is causing them. We are pretty cautious about what we put into our own bodies, into the boy’s body, and into Lily’s body. So I was not happy.

We stopped by a pharmacy so I could ask some questions about the prescription. She seemed rather confused as to why it was prescribed, and explained that it is a very harsh medication, with harsh side effects. It is an antibiotic that kills “some bugs.” Exactly, right? SOME. So worst case scenario, the bug or whatever he has, is resistant to this Mruioewfuewiofuoi, and so he ends up with a horrid stomach ache, and persistent diarrhea and diaper rash. Joyous day. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with it if it wasn’t necessary, and because the poo seems to be sort of subsiding as the day goes on, I didn’t fill it. She thought that it was a good idea as well, and if things really DID get worse in the next 24ish hours, I could always fill out, or even take him in to the ER where they would likely do a stool sample and further assessment to determine really what was going on with this little one’s intestines.

I feel disheartened and frustrated by the experience. I probably shouldn’t because I mean, I know that doctors and any health care professionals really, are not all mighty divinities who know everything and are the cure-alls to all our problems. Oh HELL no. But I like to have a little faith sometimes. Boost my faith, won’t ya? Show me that you are not all evil. I mean, I know that, I really do. We do have a family doctor and have been quite happy for the most part with our experiences with her, so I’m not completely “against” doctors or the world of modern medicine in general. But it is not the be all end all in all cases, absolutely not. Whether you are dealing with an ailment, an illness, a condition, or something wonderful such as pregnancy, birthing, etc… get second opinions peeps. Research. Educate. Know your stuff. Know your rights. Do not let someone do something to your body with which you may not be comfortable before you bulk up on some information, education, knowledge. Knowledge seriously IS power, and that can go both ways and be either a super positive and empowering thing, or used to someone’s advantage and switched around so that power is knowledge, in which case – not cool.

November 11, 2011 at 4:01 pm 7 comments

I <3 Autumn.

Autumn is both kind to me and aggravating.  But mostly kind.   Out of all the seasons, autumn and I get along the best, and I think the boy is going to be the same.  He seems to be thriving now that the leaves are falling.  He is happy, and his sleep is totally getting in check.  But most of all, he is happy.  He enjoys fall food.  He loves slow-cooked chicken and vegetables, squash, sweet potatoes.  I’m pretty certain he is going to take a liking to the pumpkin muffins + loaf sitting on the counter cooling off, too.

Autumn is nostalgic to me, every year, but particularly this year.  Last fall, I was in such anticipation for the baby in my belly.  I wanted to meet him or her so bad, but I knew it would be some time.  Kyle was gone a lot with work, and so it was just the pooch and I.  We’d go for a walk every morning, and loved the crisp air.  After I got home from work, we’d walk, and then make supper and crash for the night.  I’d feel my baby moving around inside of me mostly at night, and so that’s how I fell asleep.

This year, fall is different.  I love it just the same, and every year brings about the need for change in my life.  In the past, fall always signified back to school, which was always a big change, especially from elementary to high school and high school to university.  Now, I just ache and yearn for a different haircut, or a different style.  New shoes.  Different things to cook.  Different activities to do.  House re-organization.  Nesting things, really.  Last fall, I nested hard.  While I’m nostalgic, and obviously life is completely different now that it has been so delightfully graced with a mini, it’s hard to crunch in the leaves, feel the fall air, when I know, that it’s different this time.

Last fall, I anticipated my baby so much.  I anticipated being done work, and focusing all my energies on my growing wee one, being home with the babe and the pooch.  This fall, my stomach aches, flips and flops, when I think about what the next month brings.  Work.  Out of home work.  When I left my job, as much as I really do love my job (I do!), I was done.  Pregnancy brought about hormones I didn’t know existed in me, and with that, I was a bit of an… assertive woman, though like I’ve said before, some might say, aggressive.  Bossy.  Snotty, even.  I still do and always will beg to differ :)  Needless to say, I was really really excited to just be off, away from everything work-related, for a whole year.  It sounded like such a long time.  And now… I’m so close to it.  So close to going back.  I’m excited to be surrounded by some amazing work cronies (and friends!), but it’s getting me down.  It’s going to be such a change.  I think the boy is going to adjust better than his mama.  I really do still have a lot to learn from him.

But for now, I really don’t want to think about it or talk about it.  It’s a constant theme though.  Instead of last fall, “when’s your last day?” it’s now, “when do you go back to work?” said with such a sullen, gloomy disappointment.  For good reason.

But, fall!  Fall is glorious.  Like I said, every fall I want some sort of change.  This fall, I’m aching for a new wardrobe, a new sense of style.  I would love a personal shopper who can tell me what I need to wear to look awesome.  I don’t even so much care about fashion as much as this makes it sound like I do.  I just need a look that is me, and I don’t even want to have to apologize for that.  I have spent too long fighting against myself (that is another post for another day) and for now, I just want to work with it, with this body, with this mind, heart + soul.

This fall, I am all about the pumpkin.  I have been pinning and searching for pumpkin recipes and pumpkin latte recipes like mad.  I almost picked up baking and cooking supplies to make pumpkin muffins, loaf, AND lattes this week, but I stopped at muffins.   Actually, I’m going to share this recipe from a friend because it turned out so wonderful.  And I can’t bake.

Streusel Topped Pumpkin Muffins

Streusel Topping:
2 Tbl spoons brown sugar
2 Tbl spoons finely chopped nuts
1 Tbl spoon all-purpose flour
1/4 Tbl spoon margarine or softened butter

Muffins
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup canned pumpkin (not pie filling)
1/3 cup oil
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 cup chopped nuts
1/4 cup rainsins (optional)

Pre heat oven to 400. Will yield 12 muffins.
Mis wet ingredients until blended, add the dry. Add mixture to either lined or greased muffin tin. Batter will be clumpy.
Sprinkle streusel topping evenly over batter.
Bake for 18 to 22 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

I doubled the recipe and made 12 muffins and one loaf.  Also, I used 1/2 cup of brown sugar and then about 1/3 cup of agave nectar, just to cut down on the sugar.  I also used whole wheat flour instead of white flour, and they turned out lovely as lovely can be.

I also ventured into the borscht making territory last week, and it was an absolute and total SUCCESS.   Seriously, that stuff is so healthy and so easy to make, just takes a bit of time to grate up all those hearty beets.  For anyone who doesn’t know what borscht is, here.

I decided to just wing it, and so I didn’t really measure anything.  Instead, I will present to you my recipe for:

The Best Thrown Together Borscht.  Ever. 

 

3 Beets (I grated them but you can chop them up too)

3 Celery Stalks (chopped)

8 Carrots (chopped)

1/2 Onion (diced)

A bunch of dill

Veggie broth (I think I made 8-10 cups worth)

Pepper to taste

Toss all those delicious ingredients into a pot, and boil for a bit.  Then cook on medium for a bit more, and then simmer for awhile until the veggies are nice and soft, the beets are cooked, and everything looks marvelous and you want to swim in the delicious red soup.

Make sure you make a huge mess with the beets and make your kitchen look like it has potential to be a crime scene.

When I eat my borscht, I add a bit of cream to it, just because, well, you know.  I also add a bit more pepper.  You can even add cream when you are making it, too, but I prefer to just add to taste.

 

So, with that, I went from talking about the awesomeness of fall, to the darkness of fall that I sometimes slip in, to food.  That about sums up autumn.  Happy October!  Go do some good in your kitchen, make something awesome, and let’s have a food-off.  xo.

 

 

 

October 4, 2011 at 10:04 pm 2 comments

Keep Calm + Carry On.

Well well well, another evening post wherein I have not learned that posting in the late evening is probably not my best bet.  I shall attempt this over and over again until it REALLY bites me where I don’t want to be bitten.  But for now, I will obey my post every day in September personal challenge, and just DO it.

Since I spent 9 weeks (!!!) posting incessantly about running, running, and running, I feel it somewhat necessary to make this a sort of ongoing (ish) theme of this here blog.  I haven’t talked about running in a LONG time, so here goes nothing.

Laura from Ink and Sheep (go check out her amazing crafty abilities, she wow’ed me, let her wow you too!) commented yesterday, and asked some questions that prompted this post:

“I’m curious to know if you’re still running now that you finished the 9 weeks and what your next running goals are? Or maybe it inspired you to make other changes in your life? Or maybe other things you’d like to achieve, whether they are running related or not.”

I am shocked and apalled, slightly, that I managed to let running take over my life for several weeks, in fact – I welcomed running into my life – and then I just kinda forgot about it.  On my blog, anyway.  I am happy, proud and so satisfied to announce that I am in fact still running.  And I am still giving it my all.  Ish.  It’s a weird thing, you see.  I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned it, or maybe I have and just forgot, but we got temporarily gifted a used jogging stroller that was not being used, and so since I wanted to do the program all over again and focus on speed, I thought, hmm, jogging stroller – check, C25K program again – check, I may as well combine the two, and so I have.  It feels like a completely new endeavour, in a sense.  It’s weird doing the program again – because part of me wants to slack a bit since I know that I can do it, and so it’s not AS challenging, but part of me is struggling just a tad because well, it’s harder jogging with a stroller.  I never realized how much I used my arms to gain momentum, and to help push me, but turns out I use them more than I thought I did.  It also turns out that while jogging strollers glide smoother than your regular ol’ everyday stroller, you’re still pushing weight and running while pushing that weight, and while that makes for a bit of a strength-building workout combined with running, it makes for one tired mama.  Add Lily and her leash into the mix and it’s sort of a mish-mash at times.

BUT, it’s really not that bad, and dare I say it, easier than I thought jogging with a stroller and a dog would be.  It’s probably a blessing that Lily only weighs 5lbs, but that’s beside the point…

So that is my current running goal.  To finish the C25K again, with Lily AND Cade, both my babies.  Lily still loves it, and Cade also loves chilling out in the stroller while we run throughout the streets, takin’ it all in.  We’ve been going in the morning before his morning nap, and it works out well.  It’s been incorporated into our routine easy enough and I love that I am able to take Cade with me, and that he will actually SEE me working out, running my face (+ heart + soul) off like crazy, to the best of my abilities.  When he’s older, this will be even more important, but for now it works and I am glad that it is just one more activity we are able to do together that is healthy, and that I can tell him about when he is older.

Becoming a mother and learning how to run and how to not fear running (or parenthood, for that matter) have been two of the most transformative experiences of my LIFE.  I don’t feel like I have the proper words, energy, or insight (like I said, I suck + it’s late) right now to capture this in the essence that I’d like, but they have literally made me do a 360.  Sounds so cliche maybe but I am learning that I can do things.  It’s so simple but not.  It’s so difficult but not.  I. can. do. things. Like be a little bit selfless, but not so much so that it is damaging to my family.  Like take care of myself.  That one is the clincher.  I need to take care of myself more than ever, because I want to be able to run around the yard and the park, playing chase, playing tag, running after pseudo-animals Cade has created in some crazy toddler game.  I want to model healthy behaviours, habits, and lifestyle to Cade and our future children, so that they can adopt these practices and ways of living into their life, and then pass it on to their little ones, our future grandchildren, that is if they choose to have children (please!  I can’t wait to be a grandma ;).

I have never eaten so healthy in my life.  I have never done so many ‘green’ things in my life.  I have never cared SO much about my health, ever.  Health is so holistic, and too often when we think healthy, we think eating and exercising right but it is SO much more than that.  That is a small tiny fraction of the whole deal, and while it’s important, it is not the be all end all.  Emotional connectedness rings so true with diet + exercise.  Look at the whole issue of overeating and eating disorders and stress and what have you.  Now tie that to issues with weight, be they being “too thin” or “too heavy” (yes, I know, according to what standards, that’s another issue for another day though).  Emotions and eating are one and the same for a lot of people.  How many people eat when they’re happy?  Sad?  Excited?  Proud?  Angry?  Hurt?  Anxious?  I know I’ve certainly got an issue with food and I am pinpointing it by the DAY, analyzing when I eat and how I eat.  I don’t obsess over it but I have certainly noticed patterns, and they often aren’t healthy.  I have begun to change these patterns, and I have abolished eating at night, almost completely, unless I’m really ravished and I can grab something healthy.  I am trying to stop rewarding myself with food, because this is such a temporary fix, and I have seen how damaging eating for social reasons is and can be.  I still do it though.  I still eat socially.  It’s like someone who has issues with alcohol, my issues with food are similar.  I don’t want to down play someone’s issues with alcoholism at all and that’s not what I am trying to do, but I think food addiction is real, very real, and takes some serious acknowledgement and inner healing work to combat.  Honestly, having a year off of work to stay home and learn about my son, get to know him, has helped me to get to know myself better too, because the person I am projecting to him, the person I am to him is the person that I AM, plain and simple.  Who do I want him to know as a mother?

I have had a year to get to know myself better, and to work on things that were not jiving with my life.  Taking up running was one huge step in the right direction, and it completely helped me to begin to tackle these weird eating habits of mine.  Begin to tackle, being the key words there.  It is an ongoing process for me, and I think it will be, always.  It takes much serious dedication and empowerment.  While diet + exercise are not the be all end all as I touched on before, they do go hand in hand for me.  One motivates the other, and for me, that works.  They also motivate every other aspect of health that I need to focus on too, and they all go together like a nice and neat puzzle.  It just fits together, so, so perfectly.  When I’m running, and taking care of THAT part of my body and my mind, I need to put the appropriate fuel and energy into my body, or I will crash, and crashing never got anyone good did it?

I am not perfect and I do not make perfect choices.  My choices are sometimes motivated by something that isn’t healthy or wholesome for me.  Will I go ahead and have that social drink, those few social wings, just because I want to and it’s fun to sit around and reminisce over a couple cold ones and some sticky appetizers?  You bet I will.  You can also bet I won’t do that everyday, and you can also bet that I will be putting ten times as much good stuff into my body, not to make up for that, but because it’s what I need, it’s what I crave.  Likewise, there will also be days where I sit on the couch and decide not to run, because my body and my soul and my heart are craving a break, some downtime, and I need to feed my body what it is feeding me.  It is a two-way street, and because it is giving me, allowing me, the time to reflect and to have some quiet, down-time, I feel that I need to respect that, and listen to what my body is telling me I need.

And on that note, my body is severely screaming and yelling and fighting me right now for sleep.  It has been since I opened up WordPress to type this here ditty to y’all.  I made an imperfect choice and ignored that need, and now it’s time to give in.

So tell me dear friends, dear readers, what positive and healthful changes have you made in your life recently?  What inspired them? 

September 7, 2011 at 11:43 pm 4 comments

C25K: Week 9 Day 1

We’re in the final stretch now and it feels OH. SO. GOOD.

I’ve been saying and thinking “I’m doing this! I’m doing this!” all along, and pretty soon I can say “I DID IT!” and do you know how friggin’ good that feels?  Conquering a fear, something I told myself I couldn’t do, and instead, went on to prove myself, and I’m sure many other naysayers wrong?  Shit yeah!  I belong in some kind of new club or something now.  I feel like when I see people running, and I’m just out for a leisurely walk, I want to yell out, “I can do that too!  I’m just not doing it right now.”  

I did my first run of the last week on a treadmill, because by the time I got my butt in gear to go, it was way too flippin’ hot and I didn’t want to battle heat exhaustion like last time I decided it was an amazing idea to git’er done in the sun.  I don’t know my exact distance, because the treadmill kept turning off whenever I’d switch the fan on, but I THINK it was almost 3 miles, which is aaaaaaaawesome for me, best yet.  There was a time where I had the speed set to 5.5 mph!  But my average was about 5.0 mph, which is still a huge step.  The only other time I ran on a treadmill, I was running at about 4.3 mph, and that was week 6 day 3 I think?  We’re making headway, oh yes we are.

My weight loss is at about 10 lbs, I think I’ve posted that before, but even more awesome is my energy level has increased and I am very aware of that.  My clothes are fitting looser, and I feel like I “take up less space” than I did before.  I am learning to love my body again, but we’ve still got some work to do.  I went through a nasty phase when I was a few months post-partum.  It was hard and difficult and… interesting, because I had worked so long to come to a sort of peace with my body and its “imperfections.”  So when my mind came crashing down and tried to tell me to hate on myself, I sort of listened to it at times, and we were not in a happy place as much as we should’ve been.  But we’re getting there!  We’re working on it, and there are so many contributing factors, including… my happy pills (Vitamin D and Omega 3’s), sunshine, exercise, well-balanced diet and treating myself one day a week, and most of all, my fricken’ awesome little family and life I’ve got going on here.  I’ve got to do a lot of reminders, daily almost, because I see things I don’t have but desperately want, and then I start to feel like a little kid and am sad that I can’t have such and such.  That’s when I have to take a tiny little step out of my mind, look at what I’ve got, as cliche as maybe it sounds, and re-evaluate.  We do that a lot lately.

I’m trying to think of a way to treat myself after I finish this program.  One thing I am doing is going out with a couple of my besties on Thursday.  I don’t do it very often so that will be a huge treat, however, I’d like to personally reward myself with something.  It’s hard when money is tight, so it can’t be anything too extravagant, and I don’t necessarily want it to be something food-related either.   Anyone have any ideas?   I’d love to buy myself a brand spankin’ new pair of awesome, pro-fitted runners, because I know that I need them to avoid potential injury, but I’d be looking at about a hundred dollar bill there.  We’ll see.  I haven’t bought myself new running shoes for about… 3 years, so, yeah, it’s probably really bad that I’m running in these ones, but they are in decent shape.  Still though, I need to get in on the shoe market SOON before I smash my feet all up.  So throw your ideas at me and we’ll see what we can do.

Oh and totally not C25K related, but I’m taking on a little project and I’m having a lot of fun with it.   I’m now an Admin on the Facebook page for The Birthing Site.  It’s awesome, informative, and fun.  I love to support amazing people as they go through an amazing stage in their life, and I am learning a lot.  You should come check it out.  You don’t have to agree with all of the articles posted, or links, or what have you.  We are welcoming of ALL birthing experiences, not just “natural”.  The main thing is we encourage woman to be educated about what ALL of their options may be, so they can make the right choice for THEM, which may not be the right choice for anyone else, but that’s not the important thing.  Come and say hello!

August 2, 2011 at 12:09 am 4 comments

C25K: Week 8 Day 3

Woop!  Killed it this time instead of just mildly torturing it.

(Oh! I want to link to this article comparing breastfeeding to running.  I’ve linked it before but it’s friggin’ awesome hence the double link.  Enjoy.)

I killed it in terms of pace, speed and challenge, but I did not kill it in terms of distance.  In fact, I have taken a few steps backwards when it comes to distance, but only for this one run, and I THINK it’s because I tackled a MASSIVE hill, I ran at a very very intense incline for probably about 6 blocks.  It was hard, it slowed me down to no end, and there were many-a-time where I thought I should stop and walk the hill, then give’r the rest of the way, but not once did I stop, not once did I let my negativity overcome my abilities, because I knew that it was there.

I ran down to the river tonight and along the river for only a slight bit, and then back home.  It’s funny how I can always time my runs so that I am arriving home just as the run should be done.  I guess I’ve been running around this neighbourhood for the last 8 weeks so I’ve got a pretty good grip on how long it takes to get from point A to point B.  I am SOOOOOOO excited to start week 9 because I KNOW THAT I CAN TACKLE IT, ROUGH HOUSE IT, and MAKE IT!  And that just makes me so astoundingly happy.  Two more minutes of running than what I’ve been doing?  Piece of cake.  I’ve got this, baby, I’VE. GOT. THIS.

Whenever I see other people running, I feel like we are in a bit of a secret club and we can connect on a level unheard of.  It’s a neat feeling and I feel good to be part of ‘that group’, or clique, really.  Grade 8, how I’ve missed thee.  And this is totally egotistical and actually I am wondering if I should even put this anyway but I’m going to because I know deep down that I am not an egotistical selfish person, and I hope you know that too, so… here goes.  Sometimes when I see people running intervals, like they are just starting out a program, or doing a different kind of running program, I VERY SECRETLY (not so much anymore, sigh) think to myself, maybe they read my blog, and maybe I inspired them, and maybe they’re doing the C25K challenge and secretly following along on my blog!  YAY.  Likely NOT but it’s fun to think that and it gives me a jump in my step.

Since we’re divulging, I’m going to divulge something to y’all that makes me feel like a big whopping loser but that’s okay.  I think I did so well tonight at running because I was totally using it as a therapy tool.  A couple hours prior I had a meltdown on the phone with the National Student Loans Service Centre.  Like, I’m talking a breakdown.  I’m kind of embarassed and I’m willing to bet I was the girl they talked about after we hung up the phone.  Ugh.  Since I’ve been on maternity leave I have readjusted my loan so that I only have to make interest payments.  I initially wanted to do repayment assistance where the government would help me, but our income was above the limit for that.   That was stressful, because they have super strict dates and things you have to do and if you don’t get it in RIGHT on that date, it’s kibashed, but yet you still have to wait for pay stubs, information saying how much you make, etc., and if you don’t have it by that date, kaboom, done.  I kind of got the runaround with that so needless to say whenever Student Loans comes into the picture I have a mild panic attack.  I got a letter in the mail saying my account was SERIOUSLY PAST DUE and I owed like, $3000 or something, and my account was negatively affecting my credit.  I was ultra confused because I HAD made the payments that I was required, however, they had sent a letter with my revision of terms that I was supposed to sign and return by a certain date (aforementioned STRICT DATE) and since I didn’t, blam, all done, things got f’ed over and cancelled.  I DIDN’T GET THE LETTER.  So I started crying on the phone.  To the poor lady at the student loans centre.  Whom I said “Just listen to me PLEASE! I keep getting screwed over! I am so confused, please just listen to me explain this, *sob sob sob sob*”  Like I said, UGH.   This is what pregnancy and motherhood hormones do to us!  So long story short, I’m kind of a loser, it’s all figured out now and all is well and I don’t owe $3000 after all (good grief, thank goodness), and I took out my lameness on my run hence the awesomness.  The end.

Week 9, you’re on baby, YOU ARE ON.  I’m pumped.  Cue Rocky theme song music here.

July 29, 2011 at 2:39 pm 2 comments

C25K: Week 8 Day 2

Well my friends, we’re nearly there, and this run was a bit of a downer.  I shouldn’t say that, but it was rough.  I did the same route I did on my 25 minute run, and only increased the run by about 2 blocks, which I know is better than nil.  Especially considering the circumstances surrounding this run.   I had about 4 hours of sleep the night before, due to Cade having a super rough night, likely due to sprouting 2 teeth in 2 days.  I did my run not even 30 minutes after I ate supper.  We actually attempted to go before supper, but 2 minutes after going out the door there was a MASSIVE down pour that would’ve drenched us in a block, so needless to say, the Lil’ster and I turned around.  We had to rescue the diapers too because they were outside “drying.”  Yes.  Drying.  In a downpour.  Makes so much sense.

So we pushed on, and right from the beginning, I had a terrible negative mindset that rushed over me and tried to dominate the run.  I confess, I totally almost let it.  I was going to let it run me over, and then I would just run the next morning, however, I conquered thee and pushed on, pushed past it.  I had to.  I couldn’t let myself NOT do it because deep down inside the sometimes super nasty discouraging but mostly encouraging motivating depths of my soul, I knew that I. COULD. DO. IT.  And I so did.  I wouldn’t say I killed it, like I killed day 1, but I, err…. slaughtered it.  It just didn’t die.  (Oh my god, that’s so morbid.  I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.)

One thing that is really shocking me about the C25K program is that I am still enthused about it, enthralled with it really, and excited and anxious to take on each new week, each new run.  I think because it constantly keeps me motivated and believing in myself.  And I’ve said it before (honestly, the C25K people should like, pay me for all this advertising ;) but the program is so do-able and SO challenging that it doesn’t get boring at all, it doesn’t get too hard that you get discouraged, but it stays consistently challenging so that you are always pushing yourself, taking your self and the beliefs about yourself to new levels, new heights, really.  That’s the best thing about it.

I’ve lost between 8-10 lbs, depending on the day and when I weigh myself.  I’m pretty stoked about that actually.  Running is a thinning agent, I guess?  I’ve totally readjusted my eating habits too (still have to blog about my issues with food, NOTE TO SELF!) and I think that absolutely helps.  What’s the percentage of importance placed on diet and exercise in terms of weight loss?  I heard 20/80 or something, but every resource tells you different things.

Some of my favourite things to eat right now are: quinoa mixed with a bit of olive oil, red onion and feta (OMGOMG), tuna wraps on those fancy shmancy lettuce leaf wraps, so light, fresh and tasty (this ain’t your regular tuna wrap, I’m talking sri racha sauce, light mayo, light ranch, celery, onions, cucumbers, red/green/yellow peppers, tomato, mushrooms, sprouts, pickles, light cheddar cheese), chicken/spinach/strawberry/red onion/feta salad with Fig Balsamic dressing (so sweet, smooth and that bit of bite from the balsamic).  Every day I have a 1 litre water bottle that I typically fill up about 3 times.  I think that has totally aided the weight loss process too, as I am ensuring that I am sufficiently hydrated each and every day, and it makes it easier when I don’t have to be running to the fridge a million times a day, because a girl gets lazy, you see.

So to end fitness blog with Trista day 235135, I want to say, thank you to all for encouraging me and supporting me in this journey.  It’s an amazing one that is almost (sadly (!?)) done, but not complete.  It has merely opened up many more doors for me, for my family, and for that I am eternally grateful.  4 more runs to go!  I will see YOU on the finish line.  And you, too. <3

July 27, 2011 at 10:42 pm 4 comments

Older Posts


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 27 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 32,748 hits

Archives